Happy New Year

I'm waiting for my iPod to sync before I hit the road for Steamboat (this must be taking so long because both the iPod and the computer are 5 years old), so I'm stream-of-consciousnessing for a minute. Here goes.
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There's something really fun and special about asking a typical four year old blonde girl a question, having her look at me quizzically, and then having her instructor say, "Oh, she doesn't speak any English. Only Russian."
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Right now my life affords me infinitely more opportunity to act impulsively than it ever has before. I dig it.
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I have no New Year's resolutions...at all. Yet.
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I really miss my family. I wish I was in Rapid with everyone. I guess there's a first time for everything...including spending New Year's Eve with friends, like everyone else my age, but I'm going to miss doing Irish carbombs with Grandpa and playing Bunco with my favorite people in the world.

The Prodigal Boot Has Returned!

Sneaky's patio at sunset. (Not shown: my exhausted, cold, happy friends and I after a long day at work.)
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Saturday was maybe the coldest I've ever been in my life. It was so cold that as I was teaching, I was thinking about ways that I could describe it when I got home to my blog. It was miserable. The cool thing about life is that one tends to rebound relatively quickly from things like the cold, so I won't dwell on it now that I'm warm again. (Also, it seemed like my kids weren't really affected by the cold, which made me feel pretty embarrassingly pathetic.)

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AB just proposed to me the most spectacular idea: we're going to sublet our apartment during the X-Games, crash on a friend's floor (RS, I'm looking at you) and make enough money for maybe two months' rent. OH MY GOSH, I'M SO EXCITED. Done and done.
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I cut my hands more than anyone I've ever met. In the past two days, somehow I've made myself bleed TWELVE TIMES. Honestly, who does that? It happens on the most random crap, too, like my ski boots or boxes of hot chocolate. BAH.
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I'm happy.
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MY BOOTS ARE TOGETHER AGAIN! Yesterday I lost one of my snow boots - the ones I wear EVERY DAY - on a ski run. It's a long story. I was devastated and really made a bigger deal out of it than I should have, especially considering I was reunited with it this morning. Hallelujah, God is good.

The "Recent Great Quotes" Edition, Part 3

"Just don't...just don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it." - AB after she cut herself on an apple corer

"I like pizza better than I like most people." - RS

"Whenever I'm on an airplane and I hear a crying baby I always look around and ask, 'Won't somebody just shake that kid?!'" - RS

My life is better than your vacation.

There came a point during the past few weeks when I started actually living here - working, making friends, playing in the snow, enjoying my life - instead of just existing, and since then I've found it increasingly difficult to write. Hopefully I can reverse that trend.
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Here's what my typical day looks like.
I get a wake-up call from CC at 6:30am and drag myself out of bed and into the shower. I watch the news, throw on the same black long undies and have a bowl of raisin bran before leaving the house around 7:15. I drive 10 miles up US82 to Snowmass (listening to either NPR or an awesome Randy Travis album), park my car in the employee lot and take a bus the rest of the way to work at the Treehouse in the new base village.
Sunday through Tuesday I head to the employee locker room in the basement, put on my blue uniform, grab a radio and start hauling the ski racks onto the plaza in front of the Treehouse. Technically I'm part of a crew called the "Kids Kave" (I hate that it's spelled with a K) and I work with a few other people - my boss TL, LH (the only other girl), MT, DB, RB, AK, JM - and on any given day they're there to help with setup. Our job is to help the ski school function - we pack down the kids trails, organize the areas where parents drop off and pick up kids, run the lodges where instructors take students for breaks, set up and take down fences, shovel, etc etc etc. We're the backbone of the Treehouse and the job is NEVER boring, which thrills me. After the plaza is ready to go, I grab my skis and hop on the gondola, which takes me to the Elk Camp Meadows Beginner's Magic Lounge. This place is "my baby," as TL calls it. I spend the next two hours getting it running - making coffee, cleaning, putting up fences and ski racks outside, etc. At about 10am dozens and dozens of ski pros and students show up, so I greet them and help people figure out where they're supposed to be. I'm a certified ski tech and almost every day someone needs me to adjust their bindings or fix something. Then I ski down for lunch, which is SO good - free, delicious, and I eat with some combination of people I really like. After lunch, TL usually has random projects to tackle around the mountain, so I spend the next couple of hours on my skis. At about 2:30 I head back to ECM to clean everything up. At 3:30 my friend RS rides the gondola up after his class is over and we ski down together (perhaps the most fun part of the day). We head to the locker room, change out of our snow pants, and some contingency of us (usually 10-15 people) head next door to the new tavern, Sneaky's, for a $3 Fat Tire before heading home.
Thursday through Saturday I head to the employee locker room in the basement, put on my red uniform, grab my skis and head upstairs to wait for my class - a group of three- to six-year-olds that can be anywhere from one kid to seven, brand-new skiers or level 6s (better than some of my friends). Once everyone arrives, we get bundled up and head outside for the day. Sometimes this involves me catching kids or picking kids up off the snow all day (whilst in my 161-length skis); sometimes this involves me tearing down tree runs with a group of incredible skiers behind me. In both scenarios, I LOVE what I'm doing. Their parents pick them up at 3, at which point I head to the locker room, change out of my snow pants, and some contingency of us (usually 10-15 people) head next door to Sneaky's for a $3 Fat Tire before heading home.
Once I'm home I go for a run, find something for dinner, check my email, talk to CC and/or my family...and go to sleep. On fun but rare occasions, a group of us will go out - we already have favorite bars in Aspen (or we poach hot tubs) - but most of the time we're all so exhausted from skiing uphill all day that we call it an early night.
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I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Aspen/Snowmass: My Life is Better Than Your Vacation." It should be our motto because it's SO true. I LOVE living here. My job is amazing; I'm incredibly lucky to be working full-time (everyone else had to find a second job) and I honestly don't know which job (the "blue" one or the "red" one) I love more. I absolutely love the people I'm around, all of whom have turned into close friends. I couldn't pick a better group of people to spend an odyssey year with. It will NOT quit snowing here, either - we've had EIGHT FEET in the last two weeks. The whole experience has been phenomenal. I just feel so darn lucky.

I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto

Just a couple of thoughts, and then I really need some sleep:
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I've mentioned that Aspen is not an overly-expensive place to live, but I can't say it's a cheap place to visit. Take, for instance, the cost of a full-day private ski lesson for your 3-year-old: $605. No, that's not a typo, and it doesn't include the $100+ you are expected to tip your instructor (me, thank you). An "average" night at the Little Nell in downtown runs a cool $1,443 PER ROOM. I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Fortunately for me, families visiting my new hometown need babysitters, and those services are also heftily marked up; I made business cards (tomorrow I'm dropping them at all of Aspen's hotels and condos) and I can hopefully expect to babysit 5-6 nights a week at $25+ an hour.
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I'm doubling up on the Emergen-C as AB has Bronchitis and I'm about to get 10 kids a day sneezing in my face. My vicious immune system is going to get a workout this season.

Greetings from snowy Aspen, Colorado

This morning I had to use my Fab to figure out if that was really my car.

Thoughts on Christmas

Lately I've done a lot of thinking about the circumstances surrounding Christ's birth.

From The Message, Luke 2:8-20 -
There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger."
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises:
"Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him."
As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. "Let's get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us." They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.
Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!

The same passage from NRSV -
In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying,
'Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace among those whom he favors!'
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us.’ So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

Mary puzzles me. She deserves her own separate post.
The angels, though - oh, the angels. I can't even fathom what the shepherds experienced that night - can you imagine?! One minute you're alone on a hilltop, far outside the city, passively living out your existence and then THE ENTIRE EARTH AROUND YOU IS QUAKING IN SOUND AND LIGHT!!!!! It would be terrifying! It would be terrifying for us, and we live in a culture where song and light effects and surprises and out-of-the-ordinary types of things are commonplace. These shepherds didn't even interact with other people because their occupation prevented them from the opportunity. To be at once enveloped by blazing glory and light and the chorus of a multitude of God's angels would probably kill lesser humans. And then to go DO something about it?! Ah, if I had but half the faith of those shepherds...
They barely give me pause, though. The angels are really kicking me. I can't help but wonder a) if angels have conscious thought, and given that, b) if God made them aware of where Jesus' life would lead. My best guess is that they lack conscious thought. Because if they did, how could they sing so joyfully and profoundly and with such exultation without feeling incredible angst about the impending death of this beautiful newborn? Then again, without conscious thought, how could they truly, passionately be as excited - elated - about Christ's birth as they were?

These are the kinds of questions I wake up with. I'm going to get a cup of coffee and let me brain really start to work. I'll come back to Mary after that.

The "Recent Great Quotes" Edition, Part 2

"I live in El Jebel with a 65-year-old Vietnam war veteran. He has night terrors." - JSG, a friend from work, on his stellar living situation

"That's your cute face, huh?" - AL, another friend from work, commenting on how bored I looked

"Hey, this is my grandma! Oh, wait - nope, it's Simon and Garfunkle." - CC driving through Aspen after a song came on from a CD in his car

Jealousy is an ugly thing.

Not that I'm complaining, but why is Keith Olbermann providing commentary on Sunday Night Football?
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I just ate a very If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (remember that book?) dinner - first, I had some bread, because it was about to go stale...and I pulled the Brie out of the fridge to eat with it...which made me want a glass of wine...and that perfectly complemented an apple...which obviously needed some peanut butter.
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My family - Mom, Dad, Jeff & Courto, Randy, Karen, Katie & Tom - all went to the Broncos game today. Together, of course. And I had to work just a 3-hour drive up the road. I'm bitterly, angrily jealous that I couldn't go and resentful of my job because of it. Mom didn't help matters by continually texting me little things like, "Are you watching? What a great game!" NO, MOM, I'M NOT WATCHING BECAUSE I'M WORKING - THAT'S WHY I'M NOT THERE!! Bahhh...being an adult sucks.
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Sprint gives away free ringtones about every two weeks. I think it's good marketing, because as their customer I feel like I'm getting something great for free and I can't determine the catch (although I'm sure there is one).
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Okay. Time to watch "Casablanca." Again.

Friday

Monday was my cousin Tom's 16th birthday. At about 11pm, I called him and left a voicemail that went something like this:
"Happy, happy, happy birthday, Tom! This is Kelsey. I'm sorry it's taken me until eleven to call you and wish you a happy birthday. I've been thinking about you all day and just haven't called. I'm so thankful you were born, and I love that both of our birthdays are in December. I never need to be reminded that it's your birthday on December first, actually, because - actually, I don't think I've ever told you this story - but when you were born, I was in second grade and the day you were born I got up in front of the whole class and made an announcement that I had a new cousin and everybody clapped. And I'll never forget that I'm seven years and 345 days older than you because of that. Anyway, I hope you had a great day, and I love you and I'll talk to you soon." Tom sent me a Facebook message the next day saying that he got my message, and thank you, and it took him almost his whole drive to school to listen to the whole thing.
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I just completed my very first legitimate 40-hour work week (not counting camp, since...well, it's just different). Five days into it, I can honestly say I love this job. I already love the other people working in the Treehouse and I've met maybe 1/8 of the total staff. I ski every day. I've met kids from around the globe - Slovenia, South Africa, Russia, Peru, Argentina, Boston (heh). Aspen and Snowmass are both stunning. I'm a lucky girl.
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The guy in front of me at the grocery store tonight bought a box of saltines, a half-gallon of chocolate milk and a sixer of Corona. AB says that's what happens "when these Latinos come up here and their mothers have been cooking for them their whole lives."

Five inches in four hours and counting

Snow is pouring forth from the sky. I'm so excited I could spit - FINALLY, a decent snowfall in Snowmass!
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Yesterday at "work," I got to play fetch with a 2-year old black lab named Dante for almost an hour. (Aside to JS & AS: Dante was about twice the size of Dally and had at least twice the energy, if you can believe it.) Then, after lunch (which is provided every day for all employees of the Treehouse), I spent the whole afternoon on my skis. I was working, but we managed to fit in about four runs, too. Life is rough. :)
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Katie is home. I am so, so glad.
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My naivete just bit me in the butt. Again. When I moved into this place, I was SO excited to live very close to the Aspen Chapel, the most charming little stone church you've ever seen. My first night here I marched up there to scope out the times for their services; as it turns out, they have a Sunday morning service at 9:30 and a Friday evening Shabbat. I was psyched, because I have to be at work on Sunday by 8 but I'm free as a bird Friday evenings. Yeah, well, so much for that. I came home and Wikipediad "Shabbat," only to learn that "shabbat" is hebrew for "sabbath" - as in, my new Friday church service is actually Jewish. Whoops. I suppose there's a mixed blessing there in that I didn't actually show up for one. :)
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So I went to the liquor store tonight to get a bottle of wine (this is how you go on dates when you and your significant other live 400 miles apart - both of you buy a bottle of Pinot Noir at the same time, go home and have a glass together...over the phone) and on the drive home I realized that I don't have a corkscrew. Well, crap. These are the kinds of realizations I come to on a daily basis living in this teacup-sized apartment - I want pizza, but I can't have pizza because I don't have an oven. I can't bring my uniform home from work because I literally don't have the space for it. Obviously I have the space for a corkscrew, but...I just don't have one. Anyway, as I'm pulling into the parking lot (which, mind you, is about 1/4 a mile from my front door) I was debating whether to a) turn around and go buy one, b) gamble and hope that AB (my roommate) had one, or c) just break the top off the bottle (very risky, naturally)...and then EUREKA! I remembered that my trusty Leatherman could do the job. I was much more excited than the situation warranted, I promise you that.
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I'm honestly amazed at how inexpensive everything is here. Aspen is not living up to its reputation. There's a silver lining, eh?

Necessary

I mean this seriously, not sarcastically: I love that all of the women up here - the natives, the aging hippie ones in their late 40s and early 50s who moved here when they were my age and haven't been able to get away but instead raise their kids in Basalt and work salaried jobs for the mountain and wear more Patagonia than I do and eat lunch with the lifties - have deep lines in their faces from sun, wind, laughing for too long and living the right way. By comparison, my Auntie Brenda is the same age and is also radiantly gorgeous - her skin is clear and bright and happy, and also moisturized since she's lived in Boston all her life. I guess I just find something really strikingly beautiful about that cracked, orange peel, lived-in rugged look that only Colorado women achieve.
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I'm amazed at how nice the people are here. At the post office today, the three dudes (if you saw them you'd understand why I refer to them as such) working behind the counter knew everyone's name but my own...ostensibly because I'd never been there before. When I left, the one who helped me said, "Hey, I'll see you around!"
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This is hard to believe, I'm sure, but I think I'm going to invest in a pair of Uggs...strictly for their functionality. They're standard attire up here and it's clear why: the ground is covered in snow, and it's cold. So far my trusty little Merrills are not cutting it, because I'm perpetually cold and wet. And none of the aforementioned über-women parade around in Uggs and miniskirts, by the way.
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Matthew 28:20 - "And remember, I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Adiós, Noviembre

I'm going to try - really, legitimately try - to make this short & sweet.
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My new home is so incredibly beautiful. (Above, tattered prayer flags in some bushes up the road from my apartment; below, the Aspen Chapel, a 30-second walk from my front door.)

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Getting here yesterday was an adventure. A pissy one, actually. The drive that usually takes around four hours instead lasted a whopping 9 hours & 30 minutes. Needless to say, I was ultra-sick of the radio, all 6 CDs in my car and my entire iPod by the time I arrived. The whole trip was an inverse moment, or a moment's total antithesis - I would have given anything to be anywhere else doing anything else with anyone, period. I was lonely in the car. Mercifully a lot of my people were available to talk; I got all caught up with KK, left a voicemail for KH, talked to Mom for a bit and whined at CC for a loooong while. (He was very sweetly worried about me driving in the snow - he kept saying things like "Drive safe hunny, please?" Aww.)
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I went for the most spectacular run tonight. (Shh, don't tell Mom - she worries when I run in the dark.) I left the house around 5 expecting to drag myself down the road for 10 minutes before turning around, but I ran all the way to the edge of town before heading back - I think I turned around after about 30 minutes. It was probably 30* outside and there wasn't a ton of traffic; in fact, unlike Fort Collins, Aspen has a pretty bomber sidewalk system. The sole obstacle I hadn't planned on was how slippery the roads were. It became kind of a game: if I step on that black patch, is it going to be a) dry pavement, b) a puddle or c) black ice? I may stick metal spikes in my running shoes à la snow tires. We'll see.

The "Recent Great Quotes" Edition

"I listen to so much Big Country that I'm going to win every damn contest on that station." - CC, after winning ComedyWorks tickets at 5am one morning

"Wow. That's getting close to Ring Pop territory." - BW, commenting on Courtney's gigantic plastic gemstone ring from Target

"It would have been fine if it had stayed totally dark out until 9am and I had gone home, gone to bed and just felt like I had a weird adventure in the middle of the night." - ER, after opening at Starbucks with me, going home at 10 and not knowing how to spend the rest of the awkward morning

Happy Thanksgiving.

I have much to be thankful for.

*First and foremost, I'm thankful for my family. Every day I'm more amazed that God put the six of us together, especially when we're such different people. We complement and challenge and inspire the best in each other, though, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
This year I've grown incredibly close with all of my cousins, too, and I'm grateful that we live in a day and age when our relationships are able to grow stronger even though so much distance separates us. (It helps to have good texting rates.) I don't know what I would do without Katie or Amy; most people aren't as close with their sisters as I am with these girls. I'm ecstatic that Katie's almost home.
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I'm so thankful for the relationships I have with my friends. As I get older I have more people in my life whom I genuinely love, the kinds of inner-circle friends I can count on for anything. I don't remember having those relationships when I was younger (or not as many of them). When AJS & I broke up in May, BB came to my house when I wouldn't get out of bed, crawled in next to me, held my head in his hands and promised me I'd be okay...with his and KH's help. He was right, and I know that any of my best friends would have done and said the same thing. People tease me when I say that I have so many "best" friends - I've even made a joke of it myself - but it's true. I mean it. And I'm lucky.
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I'm thankful that my parents support my decisions. I'm taking a year-long break from real life and moving to Aspen, and my parents couldn't be more excited for me. They should be upset with me for squandering time/money/my education on self-indulgent living, but they're not. I'm lucky.
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I'm thankful for all of my "littles":
the 3 S family girls I babysit, the oldest of whom refers to me as her "other sister";
AB, the original little brother;
CF (second from left), my little sister through and through.
I'm so grateful for their presence in my life - their energy, their perspective, their personalities. Their problems. Their hope.
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I'm thankful for weathering the storm that was my breakup with AJS. We both are. Parts of this year were total shit, but we've come to a place where we can look back on what was and be both grateful for it and at peace with it. We have gone our separate ways; we recognize that separating was the right decision, and we remain committed friends. I couldn't ask for anything more.
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I'm thankful for the many, many opportunities that lie before me.
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I'm thankful for my health - the fact that I can get up and run 4 miles with my parents, the fact that I can ski my butt off for a whole season without much preparation - and that my family remains healthy.
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I'm so thankful for CC. I would be in awe of him even if I wasn't dating him. He's incredibly caring and funny and wicked smart and sweet and patient and loyal and articulate and genuine. He knows what's important and acts with integrity, and by some happy little miracle he seems to find me tolerable, even worthwhile. He has terrible taste in music but a huge heart, and I'm truly blessed to have him in my life.
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I'm thankful for a spirit of adventure. And for my church. They're kind of related.
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I'm so excited for the future. I feel like God has blessed me especially richly this year, so it's my responsibility to go forth and do good things in the world. I'm nervous, but I'm ready.

Improvise, Adapt & Overcome

I've come to the realization that I'm never going to get caught up (per se) in this sucker, and the more time that passes between entries the more anxious I get trying to remember everything I need to write about. BAH. Obviously stress over the blog is the antithesis, the literal counterpoint, of its existence, so I'm just going to write as much as I can, stream of consciousness-style, before I fall dead asleep at the keyboard.

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I'm going to have nightmares about corrugated cardboard tonight, I just know it.
At work this evening, I was scheduled to help with the Christmas promo set-up - from 5pm-1:30pm, JM, my boss HB, the district manager JF and I were assigned to take down all of the Thanksgiving stuff and put up new holiday merchandise. Sounds simple enough, right? Bloody wrong. Of course. I mean, Starbucks does nothing in a small way. Suffice it to say that I tore down cardboard boxes until my fingers were bleeding (we're talking somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 coffee cup-sized boxes) and I'm a little bitter about it.
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Courtney cracks me up. It thrills me when she gets indignant, especially because most of the time it's over really really stupid stuff - and it doesn't happen very often - but it's incredibly comical.
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I came to a Ralph Lauren-induced realization of myself last week: I LOVE ruffles. Sweaters, tank tops, skirts, boots, whatever - hell, I'd probably buy a pair of sweatpants if they had ruffles on the butt. I swear to the Lord on high (AJS: that was for you), the Ralph Lauren outlet in Silverthorne is the closest thing to purgatory I've ever found. (Admittedly because I'm Lutheran I don't really get the whole purgatory thing, but from what I've heard, I think it's an accurate description.)
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Enough said, right?
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I am woefully unprepared for Aspen right now, and it's going to be a long 48 hours because of it. Packing needs to become my bitch, and that's just not feasible given tomorrow's holiday. Oy.
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I'm PUMPED for the Turkey Trot tomorrow. Good grief, it's going to hurt since I'm so out of shape and it's already so late (therefore very little sleep tonight), but it's an annual high school reunion. Who knows who I'm going to see - especially after a fall like I've had?! Speaking of which, part of the fun of being with CC is running into people I haven't talked to since junior high - ST, KW and the like. And I love people, so this is good.

Investigating a Call That Has Given me Pause

My trip to Wartburg was awesome in every possible way. Friday night I talked to CC the entire way to the airport and then for about an hour while I sat in the New Belgium bar waiting for my flight. This fact is notable because it set the stage for the rest of the weekend - when I wasn't flying, sleeping or in a session at the conference (and sometimes even when I was), I talked to or texted CC. He helped me process the whole thing real-time. It was like hand-holding in spirit. ANYWAY, my flight was a breeze (I journaled for its duration) and I slept like a baby once I finally got to my hotel at 2am.

The next three days were full of conference sessions - large and small group stuff, campus tours, cafeteria meals and epic amounts of REALLY REALLY BAD coffee. As I said, the weekend was phenomenal, and there are three points I'd like to make about it:
1. Reverend Doctor Winston Persaud: He gave the keynote speech and it really struck me. He opened by opining about God's sense of humor, which is something I've thought a lot about lately. I took notes during his short time in front of us. He used cricket as an analogy for our faith - "You need a partner to score runs! You see how theologically sound the game is?!" - and gave thanks that God had brought us all together that weekend because we were each "investigating a call that had given us pause." (I love that line.) He also said that "Systematic Theology is a very easy subject, but the thing is this: it has some very tantalizing challenges." The man is a genius, and if I were afforded the opportunity to follow him around and soak up his little thoughts on faith I would be forever grateful.
2. The people at Wartburg: no one will be surprised when I say I'm not wild about the idea of attending a school in Dubuque. Growing up in Fort Collins has spoiled me, and spending a year in Aspen is only going to make things worse. That said, I would enroll there solely for the people I met on my trip. I seriously bonded with the 20-some-odd other conference attendees, and that's nothing compared to the friends I made who are current students. I came home with, like, 30 new Facebook friends, which is a petty but simple way of depicting how closely I want to keep in touch with these people. At one point before I headed home, three students - JR, JB & EK - "kidnapped" me and took me to Starbucks before one of their classes. I was pumped; I felt like, "Wait, you mean these people want to hang out with me even though they're not forced to do so as part of the conference?"3. The call: the conference exponentially aided my discernment process in a million ways, but one particular breakout session kick-started my thinking about both my external and internal calls. I made lists of both. Perhaps later I'll go into more detail about why each bullet is important.
EXTERNAL CALL:
-the job offer at El Camino Pines
-Pastor JG on the hike at Sky Ranch (in maybe 2003) telling me that if I ever decided that medicine wasn't for me, I should seriously consider ministry
-the girls in my small group at church telling me (over and over and over) that I should go to seminary instead of medical school
-MU saying (back when we were dating during sophomore year of high school) that "WOW, heaven must really be incredible" given my thoughts on it
-AJS telling me that he always "just knew" I was supposed to go to seminary
INTERNAL CALL:
-talking with RC late into the night in the staff lounge this summer
-all of my "little siblings": CF, AB, KH, CU, EZ, SM, SB, etc
-feeling like I could be a better teacher than most of my college profs (my exact thoughts being, "I can do better.")
-being miserable both at CU and living in the Cairns House
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During worship on Sunday morning, we sang a song called "Canticle of the Turning," and the words of the second verse are still in my head -
Though I am small, my God, my all, you work great things in me/And your mercy will last from the depths of the past to the end of the age to be...for the world is about to turn.

Peace.

I'm conflicted.
I'm packing for Iowa and I'm psyched for this trip. I'm excited to see Wartburg, to be around other people discerning their call, to RUN (I've been working too much to run here). I'm anxious for some serious thinking and writing time, because I haven't allotted myself much of that at ALL in the last few weeks. I love traveling and it's about time I got outta dodge for a bit.
And yet, I was hoping to mentally prepare for this - to think and run and pray and write and read enough beforehand to identify a) the things I'm looking for in a seminary and b) where I am in my own discernment process. I haven't given myself that opportunity, though, and I'm disappointed about it. I hope I can gain as much from this visit without the prior preparation as I could have with it.
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I've had a great few days.
Obviously Obama's win was (quizas) one of the best nights of my life. I'll write more about that later.
I've spent a few evenings with CC - ! - whom I had totally forgotten about after high school (and I'm sure he, me as well). I really like hanging out with him, and this newfound friendship is further evidence of life's myriad unexpected sparks.
Work is wiping me out (I haven't had a day off in over two weeks) but I love my coworkers. I've really bonded with 2 of them in particular, AC and ER. AC is the only one I've told about Aspen (because I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE, I CAN'T KEEP A SECRET FROM THE ENTIRE STORE - IT WAS EXPLODING INSIDE OF ME!!!) and we're already planning ski dates. We've commenced the texting part of our friendship - I feel like that's notable. ER I actually knew from junior high, and the more I work with her the more I wish we'd stayed friends all these years. We laugh a LOT and we're perpetually in the same mood. I'm grateful that I've been so warmly enveloped in the store already.
I talked to AJS for a looooong time last night. I miss him.
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My facebook status (told you I was obsessed) is an acurate summation of my thoughts lately:
"Kelsey is far too excited and relieved and happy and grateful and exhausted to think clearly."
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Peace.

It's not just the caffeine, it's also the adrenaline.

I sent this text message to 61 of my closest Democratic friends at 6:03am today:

"Good morning my fellow bleeding-heart liberals! You better be effing PUMPED because this is history in the making! Cheers to a better USA. Happy election day!!"

Words cannot accurately nor succinctly convey how excited and thankful I am to be alive today. I have never been more happy to be 23, female or American - three of the four factors that dictate my politics.

Today's numbers:
-3 hours of sleep
-14 shots of espresso at work
-6 hours canvassing to get out the vote
-1 victory for a president I helped to elect

GO VOTE, DAMMIT!!!!!

Penguins are not just for boys.

The Flobots' new song "Rise" has become the unofficial anthem of the Democratic party and the Obama campaign. It's appropriate and well-deserved - even Biden said he liked it. Have a listen:

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So my former camp director - a good family friend - moved to Minnesota with his wife and daughter last year. He called a couple of days ago to tell us his daughter's new trick: she'll point to a picture of Obama and proudly call him "President Barack Obama," and then point to his opponent and call him "JUST John McCain." And she's two. Talk about a girl after my own heart.*
And speaking of politics, something happened yesterday that both infuriated and thrilled me. I attend Spirit of Joy, perhaps the most liberal Lutheran church in greater Northern Colorado. Yesterday as I was leaving church with CF, we walked into the parking lot and saw fliers on the windshield of every car - weird, right? Upon closer inspection we found the fliers to be some outrageous "Obama is a baby killer" literature promoting McCain, Schaffer & Musgrave. I was PISSED. How dare someone come into our church during the middle of the service and spread that shit on all of our vehicles?! The inspiring part came a half-second later when I saw my pastor and two other men from church running around the parking lot taking the fliers off of all the cars. I was so, so pleased. Of course, CF and I helped destroy the "junk mail" (as Pastor J called it), and all the while we debated whether they were distributed because a) they figured since we were a church, we agreed or b) because they figured we were so liberal that we may not vote that way. I hope it's the latter.
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I found this new Ryan Adams song. I love it. I can't find the video online, so I'll post the lyrics instead:

"My love for you is real
It moves like the summer breeze
My love for you is strong
Lord it brings me to my knees

It was born in the wild
It's river long
Rock strong
True and wild as hell
Honey now, my love for you is real

My love for you is calm
Candy sweet and thunder strength
My love for you is wide
It breaks a lock it's never tame

My love for you is long
It crossed the oceans on a sail
My love for you is true
Meanings change but not the tale

It was born in the wild
It's river long
Rock strong
True and never stale
Honey now, my love for you is real"
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I babysat ALL day yesterday. It ended up being a great day, but initially I was really anxious about it. First of all, I've never sat for the family before - strike 1. They have two kids, a 12-year old girl (strike 2 - preteen girls never like me) and a 4-year old boy (strike 3 - young boys are notoriously tough to babysit). Strike 4 is the 8-year age difference - how in the world do you keep both a 12-year-old and a 4-year old happy at the same time?! Add to that a) the seven hours I was scheduled to babysit and b) how exhausted I was from working 14 hours the day before, and the end result of the equation was the "why the crap did I say yes to this?!" that I was asking myself on the drive over. Like I said, though, we had a BLAST. Their kids were fantastic; the daughter was the best big sister I have ever seen, and their son was totally hilarious and wicked smart. He said the funniest thing over lunch: "I'm a little Spiderman guy, a little Batman guy, a little Superman guy. I'm into all the boy stuff, like Hot Wheels. And penguins."
Anyway, we spent the entire day in the sun, which I was (naturally) super happy about. We took a couple of 3-mile walks, played volleyball and hide & seek in the backyard, and wandered over to the new house they're building in the same cul de sac where the S family lives. Of course we knocked on the door to see if the girls wanted to play, and of course they did. Before I knew it we had a single swingset occupied by 7 children under 7 years old, and I LOVED it. I got to hang out with AS, too, and that always makes me happy. :)
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Saturday night I covered a shift at the SBUX on Harmony & Timberline. There was something strange and uncomfortable about being behind the counter there again - after all, I worked there four years ago - but I met the coolest girl, LJ. I knew I liked her when she said she named her bunny Ella Fitzgerald (especially when she described the rabbit as "sassy"), and I liked her even more when she told me about her brother's girlfriend. You see, her last name is Jolly, and the girlfriend's name is Holly - so if the brother and the girlfriend get married, this poor woman's name will be Holly Jolly. LJ was like, "Imagine being around her at Christmas!"
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I rented "Once" last night, in large part because of the BR withdrawl symptoms from which I'm suffering. (He recommended the movie and sang "Falling Slowly" at camp.)

The movie was fantastic. You really, really ought to watch it. Anyhow, it inspired me to do two things: a) pick up my guitar again and b) call BR. I found the guitar tabs for "My Love For You is Real" and have practiced it a couple of times; I'm still pretty rusty with the F chord, so it's a work in progress. And talking to BR was, of course, totally delightful. I might get to see him this weekend!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm so excited - that statement more than warrants the 11 exclamation points I gave it.) I'm going to be in Dubuque for the conference at Wartburg, and Madison is only a couple of hours away, so he's going to try and come down for a cup of coffee at least. Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. So excited.
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I don't have much to say about Halloween, other than that it was fun and I'm disappointed that I didn't see more people I knew. Courto and I ran around Old Town for a bit, played with LT and his kitten, then hit up a house party with EG. The whole thing was fun, but it went by too quickly. And I put way more work into my costume (I was a German beer maid) than I should have given how little I got to wear it.

My costume (I sewed it myself!)

Two girls at work - ER was an 80's girl; BC was a geologistHappy Courtney with LT's kitten, whom we call "Mini-cat"

Courto and I at the SteakoutSadly I didn't get any pictures of EG (he was a tourist) or LY, the most convincing - and HYSTERICAL - Jesus I've ever seen. I hope I never forget the image of him dancing to techno with a red plastic cup in his hand.

My kitty is gone.

Samson vanished sometime Tuesday night. We think he got outside while Jeff was on the porch, and the coyotes probably got to him before we realized he was missing.

Obviously we're all pretty upset. He was an indoor cat, and a chubby one at that, so he really didn't have a chance outside the house.

Mom hasn't given up hope yet - she thinks he's just lost, so she keeps all of the outside lights on all night long "so he can find his way home." She keeps the garage door open about 8", too.

Courtney checked the Humane Society yesterday and left a "missing cat" note there.

El jefe took Sam's favorite toy - a duck that yells "PROCESS, PROCESS!" (it's a long story, don't ask) - outside and tried to call Sam home with it.

I'm making Missing posters and hanging them on all of the mailboxes and light posts around Greenstone. I figure it's the least I can do. And as EG and JT have said, maybe someone just took him in. I guess there's always a chance.

And I really want him back.

Kelsey's Sage Advice for a Safe and Happy Halloween Night

1. "NO CAPES." - Edna
2. Keep in mind that everyone in a costume thinks they're anonymous and are therefore more likely to do something stupid.
3. Don't think you're anonymous. And don't do something stupid.
4. All standard city, county and state laws are still in effect.
5. Any costume with wings is probably a bad idea, especially if you're bar-bound.
6. Just like when you were trick-or-treating as a kid, don't go out alone, and make sure that if you're running around in the dark you have something reflective on your body so you don't get hit by a car.

These pictures remind me of my favorite people, places, things and events from the past few years of my life.

RMNP

Hiking in RMNP with KH, 7/2008

TA and AK on the way to Wolf Creek, 2/2008

Skiing in Utah, 1/2008

The Denver Oyster with Dad and AJS, 8/2007

Cancun, 7/2006

TA reliving the previous night - Steamboat, 12/2006

New Belgium with KH, Spring Break, 3/2008

My family (minus Christian) in Seattle, 3/2008

Courtney and I snowed in, 12/2006

Rockies, 8/2008

MB, 7/2008

Hiking with BR, 6/2007

7/2006

Rawah Wilderness backpack trip, 7/2006

Running the marathon with Rando and Dad, 1/2007

RC and NJ at the wedding, 6/2008

With Mom and Courto, 7/2008

Backpacking the Maroon Bells with Courto, Amy and Katie, 8/2008

In Chile with AJS, 10/2006

Skiing Wolf Creek, 2/2005

Costa Rica, 12/2004

Backpacking with Courto, 7/2004

Woody, 12/2005

Ugh.

I don't know about this whole being-an-adult thing. I really dislike it so far.

All of my money is gone, and it went to things that are not fun. Like car insurance. And health insurance.

I wish I had better valued my elementary days when I had the chance.

Oh, I believe!

Wow, what a stimulating weekend!
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Thursday was, of course, brilliant. I very much enjoyed cooking; I very much enjoyed hosting my friends; I very much enjoyed laughing and drinking and carving and relaxing with many of my favorite people in one room. Henri B. Stendhal wrote that "to describe happiness is to diminish it," and for that very reason I'm not going to write another word about it.
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Friday was odd, mostly because I slept for 3 hours before getting up - at 3am - to work. Sleeping for ALL of Sunday and Monday + napping on Thursday night = a very confused Kelsey. I felt like most of Friday afternoon my body was kind of like, "Seriously? Seriously?! What the hell are you doing?!" I rallied in the evening, which led to three distinct interactions: a) a delightful long-distance phone date with MH; b) an awkward (and short) stop by JN's birthday party; and c) a beer date at the Crown Pub with LM. The last one was a treasure - we decided (over a particularly inspirational Easy Street, natch) to take an extended trip to southeast Asia next summer, volunteering and traveling together throughout Laos, Thailand, Vietnam and maybe Indonesia. And we mean it. (I don't think it really hurt matters that CN was working. For some reason, watching him wash glasses inspires me to live a more adventurous life. :) )
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Yesterday was kind of a bust, and more than anything I want to talk about today. Just a couple of notes first:
a) The Rams won, the Huskers won, and the Buffs got DESTROYED. Huzzah!
b) LY's homecoming party was pleasant. Honestly, it made me really miss AJS. And I had a decent conversation with JG and LY's new girlfriend about how and why some guys act very differently around their girlfriends than they do in normal society.
c) I stayed up obnoxiously late for NO reason. Stupid. Stupid.
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To make a long story short, I skipped Christian's confirmation this morning to see Barack Obama speak at the CSU oval. (The thought process going into that decision affords its own blog entry. Look for that later.) I went as a guest of LT with him, his parents and many of his wonderful friends, and the day as a whole was extraordinary. It wasn't life-changing, but it was definitely once-in-a-lifetime.
I showed up at LT's house around 10:15 armed with a 4-shot Americano and my standard attire (blue Patagonia fleece and Chaco flipflops). Unbeknownst to me, he had assembled a veritable army of Obama supporters, and a few moments later I was Oval-bound with LT, his parents, his roommate BB and BB's mom, the girls KS and KB and KB's boyfriend SH, NP, her mom, and her boyfriend JS, and GD and his brother. Things were awkward for about 16 seconds when I realized that everyone there had known each other since fourth grade and I was "oh, THAT girl!" whom the whole group knew a LOT about (thanks LT), but everyone was warm and friendly so the awkwardness passed.
When we got to the front of the library we were joined by SK, his dad DK and his girlfriend MD. JH - whose relationship with LT KS and I speculated on all day, but never nailed down - was our connection for getting to stand in the bleachers, so we found him just as he was briefing the group. Obviously we had a big crowd, but we were part of a much larger group (maybe 300 people), so as JH read our names off of a list we stepped forward for our gold stars. From there, we walked down University Ave to the special spot where people with gold stars were supposed to wait for security checks and more briefing. (They told us that because we were going to be on TV they were going to "arrange us" on the bleachers according to what would look the most attractive behind The Man.)
At this point we waaaaaiiiiited. And waited. And waited. We got to the corner of University and West (just south of the oval) at about 11:10am and we didn't move until 2:50pm. Needless to say it was a long, long, long wait, and it was rather cold outside and we were rather bored and hungry. Mercifully the anticipation of standing directly behind our next president was enough to suppress most of our small irritations. Once we decided that we couldn't order pizza to the corner of University & West because of the insane Secret Service presence, the boys + NP + LT's dad played hacky sack while KS and I chatted up LT's mom. (At one point we had her in tears after telling her how much we love him. It was sweet.) Parts of the group came and went; LT and his parents and I spent about an hour snuggled up in the grass trying to stay warm. I saw LM and her parents, and I started feeling REALLY anxious because LM said that Obama was running 1.5 hours late due to travel delays - and since I knew I was working at 5, I thought I was going to miss him altogether (after having waited 4 hours to see him AND skipping my own brother's confirmation!). Alas, my anxieties were all in vain.
Once they started moving us through security and up to the bleachers, announcements were being made that the man of the hour (or, more accurately, the year, the decade, our lives, etc) had arrived on campus and would hit the stage shortly. I was BESIDE myself with excitement, as can be attested by LT and his parents. Later I'll post pictures of what the following half hour looked like; suffice it to say it was SO much fun.
And then he was on stage. Right in front of us. Right in front of 50,000 people. Right in my backyard.
I dug his speech. Like I mentioned, it wasn't life-changing, but I probably wouldn't forgive myself if I'd missed it. He hit on all the usual talking points - healthcare, economy, tax cuts, McCain's stupidity and ignorance - and encouraged us to vote early and have our friends do the same. He joked around a LOT, which thrilled the crowd, and at one point said something like "college kids aren't a special interest group, they're our future!" so of course I looked at LT and declared, "HE BELIEVES IN US!" and we dissolved in giggles.
And then just like that, he was gone and we were headed home. Of course, as I reflect upon the day, the undisputed best part was sharing the experience with so many people. My little nuclear group alone - just the people I've referenced in this blog - numbered 17; the crowd in the bleachers numbered 300; and looking out upon the packed oval, we numbered 50,000+.
I was reminded why I call LT my "therapist." We met four years ago in a physics class, and yesterday I repeatedly said silent prayers of thanksgiving for his friendship. He is one of my most true friends - he's kind, he's affable and gentle and congenial and sincere, he has a heart of gold and I am so lucky to call him a friend. I'm going to name my firstborn Loren after him. And I wish I could be the kind of friend to other people that he is to me.
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God is love. I have a lot of love in my life. I have a lot of God in my life.
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At work ANOTHER of my coworkers thought CF was my sister. Which reminds me that I need to write at length about my adopted siblings - AB, CF, KH and many others. Again...I'm so fortunate to have these people in my life.

"I got a fever..."

I'm going ultra 'stream of consciousness' with this one. Ready? Okay.

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I was driving home from work today listening to NPR (duh), and Michele Norris was interviewing a guy who runs a barbershop in Tampa Bay called "Fernando's Shaves and Shades." He and his wife started 'giving away' mohawks to Rays fans after they won the ALCS the other night. They're calling them Rayhawks. DID I CALL THAT OR WHAT?!
The best part of the interview, by the way - and this is sooo NPR -
Michele: "This is probably tough for someone who has thin or balding hair, or maybe a recessed hairline. Does it work with all hair types?"
Fernando: "We manage to even do bald guys. I'm sure if you put a hat on, nobody would know the difference."
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At the end of the interview, NPR played Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper," and I cannot hear that song without thinking of the old SNL parody with Will Ferrell and Christopher Walken (you know - "I got a fever...and the only prescription...is more cowbell!"). I just looked EVERYWHERE for that video to post it here; I don't think it exists anymore.
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Anyway, THAT makes me think of my friend MG. I have this awesome cowbell - it was in the trick-or-treat bag I got after finishing the marathon last year - and coincidentally it's CSU colors, so I always wore it to CSU football games. Last year at the CU/CSU game in Denver, MG (whose girlfriend, it should be noted, is a CU student) was plastered. Not only was he screaming things like "YOU F***ING GYPSIES!!" at CU fans, but he would also reach over and grab the cowbell around my neck and shake it as hard as he could (which strangled me in the process) AND grab the food out of total strangers' hands and throw it over the balcony onto the heads of CSU fans below us. He was out of control, and it was awesome.
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So THAT makes me think of this other time with MG when we were skiing in Utah. (I referenced this trip a few posts ago.) I'm thinking of the insane anxiety and anticipation I felt at the top of this line:It was the one time in the last many ski seasons when I can remember being truly terrified at the top of a run.
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And THAT makes me remember why I chose to ski bum in Aspen - I'm going to feel that way a lot this season.
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And THAT makes me conflicted, because of course it's going to be amazing...and yet I'm bummed out that I have to leave Starbucks. I know it's such a silly thing to say since I've only been there for a week, but I really, really like my coworkers. Why couldn't I have started working there a couple of years ago? These people are awesome!
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And there you have it: one full thought circle. I started this post and ended this post talking about work.

Salsa

I have this friend who is more of a cousin than an acquaintance. His dad is my uncle's best friend from medical school, and I think we were about 12 before we realized we weren't actually blood-related.
Anyhow, BM - my friend - has a personal policy: he doesn't take pictures. No matter what we're doing, no matter how amazing it is, he won't document it because he doesn't want to mar his actual memory of the experience. He believes that photographing something diminishes its value in your brain - it makes it so that the only part of the adventure you remember is what you see in the picture. You don't remember the moments in between the exposures.
I think the experience I had tonight totally validates BM's perspective.
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I went salsa dancing at the Rio with MC. I completely forgot how amazing your good girlfriends can be. I have missed her so, so much, and shame on me for not realizing it until tonight.
I danced with EG, who perpetually makes me smile. I like him. He has many, many excellent qualities, and I so appreciate his sense of humor for putting up with my two left feet. Every time I'm around him I get blindsided by a bout of excited silence and feel like a fool trying to explain it. I think that alone says something.
And I saw DW, who is so charming and funny and goofy. Obviously I can't dance and talk at the same time, but I'm glad we had a chance to reconnect.
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Again...I'm so lucky to be able to call these people friends.
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I found out this afternoon that I finally have housing in Aspen. I'm THRILLED; an enormous stress has been lifted from my shoulders. And yet...after tonight, I'm scared and a mite anxious about this new beginning. I'm sad to leave behind so many people I love so much.

I had the CRAZIEST dream last night.

It started with me dog-sitting for the S family again.
I showed up at their house around 10pm, let the dogs out, then went to sleep in J&A's room (since that's where I stay when I sleep there). Around 5am, Dally needed to go out, so I got up and went downstairs.
Here's the first crazy part - the back door was wiiiide open, so when I let the dogs out, I went out on the porch to investigate. There was some creepy guy - like 5'10", white, around my age - crouched below the patio table. I freaked out and screamed or something, then ran inside and slammed the door. (Magically the dogs got back inside again before I slammed the door.)
I shut off all the lights, and the creepy guy came up to the door and put his face against the glass! I started yelling that I was going to call the cops, ran around to make sure all the doors and windows were locked, then picked up the phone. Of course the line was cut, so I couldn't call out. The creepy guy was snearing at me from the window, and I was trying to act as threatening as possible, so I ran upstairs to grab my cell phone. For some reason my phone was in another room, so I locked myself in that room and dialed 911 about a million times. Every time I'd get a busy signal (of course, right? It's a dream).
This is when it got really weird. I grabbed the mace out of my purse and ran downstairs, thinking that if I could just open the door and mace the guy it would solve all of my problems. (The dogs were being no help whatsoever - they were just as frightened as I was.)
When I got downstairs, A had let the guy inside. WHAT THE CRAP, J&A were home the whole time?! The guy was trying to attack A, so I maced him, and then the two of us more or less chased the guy around the house for a little while.
THEN, as if things could get more weird, KH and AJS showed up! They were sleeping in one of the upstairs bedrooms! Slowly allllll of my friends started coming out of the rooms - BB, KK, even AB and the rest of the kids who lived in Newsom. It was some kind of warped CSU reunion, and all of us ended up in the S's livingroom at 5am.

I think I need to lay off the NyQuil.

Are faux-hawks the new rally caps?

My cousin, Tom - the tall one in the middle - was in the state championship soccer game in South Dakota last weekend. He and his teammates shaved their hair into faux-hawks. (They lost the game, but they're still the second-best soccer team in the state.) And then last night watching the BoSox/Rays game, I saw one of the Rays players with a fabulous fresh faux-hawk that actually wrapped around the side of his face and met with his handlebar moustache. It all leads me to wonder...are faux-hawks the new rally caps?
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I just about lost it watching SNL on my DVR last night when Sarah Palin called herself "Caribou Barbie." HOW PERFECT IS THAT? I found a bumper sticker on Facebook - yes, I realize I'm talking about Facebook applications in normal conversation, deal with it - that had the McCain/Palin logo and the words "Fudge-Umbridge" in place of their names. I laughed, then congratulated myself for my juvenile taste in literature. (Fudge & Umbridge are characters from Harry Potter.)
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I could have sworn I had a billion things to write about tonight, but my brain is in a serious fog. Chalk it up to DayQuil. Thanks for the cold, Courto. Love you too.